Raw Meat Roller Skating: Meatinatrix Presents the Clash of the Knee Socks

All right, if you were roller skating with us last week, you’ll understand me when I say—it’s time to get a little revenge on Drop Bunny (Drop Bear’s evil, Easter cousin).  She forced us to do all kinds of horrible drills, and more squats than chili night at bodybuilding camp. So, on April 30, it’s time for revenge.

While Drop Bunnies are fearsome beasts, they do have one weakness. They can’t handle clashing colours. Mismatched socks send them scurrying for the nearest hedgerow. Clashing shirts and pants make their skin crawl. Don’t even get them started on mixing patterns and stripes. They’ll scratch your eyes right out.

Therefore, considering all the drills we were forced to do last session, this Saturday, I challenge everyone to wear the brightest, ugliest, most mismatched derby outfit you’ve got. Mwhahahaha!

Oh, and be prepared to sweat in that mismatched, pattern-splattered nightmare of an outfit. Meatinatrix is going to show Drop Bunny how it’s done. Expect three leg-burning hours of roller skating drills, including stops, falls, agility, proximity, strategy, and games, games, games.

All the Pertinent Details

Raw Meat Roller Skating sessions are $7, and full safety gear is required. We meet at Thunderbird Community Center, 2311 Cassiar St., Vancouver, at 5 PM on Saturdays. You must have light or white toe-stoppers, and tape black kneepads with white tape. Raw Meat sessions are non-contact. While we learn various roller derby drills and strategy, we do not practice any hitting, ever. We have two rules: 1. Don’t be an ass-hat. 2. Be safe. Don’t break them.

Beginners: Please come out!

Don’t be frightened. We don’t bite (usually). Seriously, though, our sessions are very beginner-friendly! If you have your skates and safety gear, then come on out! We’ll help you learn to stop and skate safely. Just show up!

A Note on Fitness and Cross-Training for Roller Skating and Derby

Last session, we did some grueling fitness drills (all Drop Bear’s idea). Last year, the TCRG made some fitness drills part of their league try-outs, and those are the drills we did. If you found the drills hard, well, you’ve got all summer to improve.

We have no idea what try-outs will be like this year, but we do know that fitness is a huge component of roller derby. If you aren’t doing any cross training, start now! Even if you never intend to try out for a league, cross training will help keep you injury free as you grow as a roller skater. Here is Drop Bear’s suggestion for daily conditioning (download as a PDF):

Raw Meat Roller Skating Daily Fitness

Work it, Meaties, work it

If you need an even greater challenge, we suggest www.bodyrock.tv. This website features a different workout each day that can be done with minimal equipment.

If you are new to working out, be sure to start at a safe pace. Just do a few reps of each exercise, and do a couple more next time. The key is to find something that you can do regularly a few times a week.

Strength training is great, and so is running. A number of Raw Meaties are thinking of starting a 10k training plan. Find them in the Raw Meat discussions on our Facebook page, and get together for a run! Find something you like to do, and do it.

If your goal is to try out for a derby league, improving your fitness is going to make it immeasurably easier for you. Now hit the floor and give me 20.