IMPORTANT NOTICE FIRST SO YOU WILL ALL READ IT: ON JULY 30, BE READY 15 MINS EARLY FOR OFF SKATE WARM-UP!!
Now back to our regular programmingâ€¦.
I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.
Seeing we donâ€™t drink and skate and weâ€™re all caught up on episodes of CSI: Knows Squat About Roller Derby Unit; I guess it just leaves one of the above options to followâ€¦
*Takes off sunglasses and stares at camera*
The source of the hot homosâ€¦Looks like we found itâ€¦ the rainbow connectionâ€¦ the lovers, the dreamers and Tikiâ€¦.
Thatâ€™s right! Itâ€™s finally here! Super Homo Edition! Tiki TimeBomb has an explosive (see what I did there?) lesson in store with so much fun you canâ€™t even poke a stick at it (insert your own inappropriate stick poking joke here). Some excitingly homo themed drills are headed your way, as well as a few other surprises Miss Tiki has stashed up her rainbow coloured sleeve.
Pride weekend is a cause to celebrate in style! And, by style we mean we are demanding costumes â€“ you were warned! Come in your best Pride attire â€“ colours, rainbows, ties, underpants, feathers, glitter and spandex. The louder and gayer the better! We will be skating a regular level session; so make sure that whatever you choose to wear is comfortable enough to move around in for two hours and wonâ€™t endanger anyone else. No metal bits, pieces flying around or things that can get stuck in wheels please!
The events that are going to unfold this Saturday morning will blow your minds! Miss this weeksâ€™ edition and forever hang your head in shame for missing one of the best sessions in Raw Meat history. A skate adventure of vastly fruity proportions is upon usâ€¦ are you ready??
Ready, set, homo!!
Who Can Come to a Raw Meat Meaty Session:
Raw Meat Meaty Sessions are Saturdays from 10 to Noon at the Royal City Curling Club, 75 East 6th, in New Westminster. These sessions have skill requirements. These invitations are not selectiveâ€”they are sent out to the entire Raw Meat group for information purposes. You can only skate at a Meaty session if you have passed the Raw Meat Basic Skills test, or if you are a current skater or on-skate referee with the TCRG. For this session only, Lambs may join us at noon for an off-skate fitness session in the park near the curling club.
If you are new to Raw Meat, please attend our sessions on Saturdays from 5-7 PM at Thunderbird Community Centre, 2311 Cassiar St. If we are not familiar with your skating, you will not be allowed to skate at a Raw Meat Meaty session.
Everyone at a Raw Meat Meaty session must sign a waiver saying that they accept the risks of skating. No waiver, no skating.
All skaters must abide by our strict non-contact rule. We do not allow hitting, pushing or overly aggressive skating. Any skater engaging in contact will be asked to leave immediately. We do allow hip/arm whips, and safe touching of teammates. (If you arenâ€™t comfortable grabbing people, you should probably take up badminton instead!)
All skaters must wear full safety gear (knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, helmets AND mouth guards) while skating. The floor at the Curling Club is very hard, and you must keep your gear on while you are on the skating floor.
We have two simple rules at Raw Meat: 1. Donâ€™t be an Ass-Hat. 2. Be Safe. There is zero tolerance for breaking these rules.
The Royal City Curling Club is on numerous bus routes. If you are driving, there is plenty of free parking. If you can give someone else a ride, please do so! Post in the comments to arrange rides (and those getting a ride, donâ€™t forget to chip in for gas)
See You All Saturday!