Ah, yes. This week’s Raw Meat roller skating session is the night before the most refreshing Sunday of the year. Before you close your weary eyes, you get to turn back the clock, and get an extra, glorious hour of sleep. And boy, are you ever going to need it. This week’s adventure in roller skating is going to feature some killer agility and fitness moves, and lots of pack work. We’ll also take a look at jammer starts. And you know the best way to practice jammer starts, don’t you? Don’t you? That’s right. More acid flashbacks are coming your way.

(If you aren’t familiar with acid flashbacks, they go something like this: on one whistle, plow to a stop, and get down on your stomach; on two whistles, get up as fast as you can. Repeat until everything goes swirly on you.)

If you are a beginner, don’t worry, please come out! We will help you learn basic skills safely and at your own speed. We offer variations on drills so people at different skill levels can participate, and we’d love to answer any of your questions. At Raw Meat, expect to learn falls, stops (plow, t-stop, Mohawk stop), hip and arm whips, skating in proximity to other people, pacing lines, various agility and roller derby strategy drills, and more.

If you are an expert, please come too! We’ll do our best to keep you challenged with difficult variations on drills. And, if nothing else, you can always work on GETTING LOWER!

The schedule for the next few weeks:

Raw Meat sessions are every Saturday from 5-7 pm, at 2311 Cassiar St, for $5. We hold a three-hour session, from 5-8 pm, on the last Saturday of every month, for $7. We do, however, have a few special events coming up.

November 19: No Raw Meat. The gym where we practice will be in use as a polling station for the municipal election. Please use this break to get out and vote! Municipal government have a huge influence on your day-to-day life, including little things like funding recreational facilities for roller skaters.

November 26: Team Canada Roller Derby Fundraiser! Everything made from this session will be donated to Team Canada Roller Derby, to help them kick some ass at the world championships. We ask that everyone donate $10 or more (if you can; you won’t be turned away if you can only donate $7). This session will be a full three hours of awesome, and there might be cookies!

December Holidays: Thunderbird is closed on December 24 and 31. We’ll see you again in the new year!

What should you bring to Raw Meat?

To participate, you will need roller skates (not roller blades); a helmet; wrist, knee and elbow pads, and a mouth guard. The venue also requires that you have white/light toe stops, and put white, non-marking tape over black knee pads. Covering the knee pads with vertical strips of tape works best.

Sessions are $5 for a two-hour lesson, and $7 for the three-hour session on the last Saturday of the month. Exact change is greatly appreciated.

The Rules:

Raw Meat has two simple rules: 1. Be safe. 2. Don’t be an ass-hat. There is zero tolerance for breaking either rule, and you will be asked to leave if you do.

Raw Meat sessions are strictly non-contact. We do not allow leaning, hitting, or overly aggressive skating. We do practice hip/arm whips and skating in close proximity. If you aren’t comfortable grabbing a girl by the hips, derby is not going to be your sport. Perhaps shuffleboard?