Oh. My.

This one is going to hurt.

Prepare yourself.

Mish advises everyone to wear your best funeral underpants to this one. Just in case.

Tiki Timebomb  of the TCRG is coaching again, and this time, she’s serious. She’s enlisted the formidable 8 Mean Wheeler as assistant coach. Together, they just might kill us.

Get your affairs in order, everyone. The countdown begin.

3…2…1….

The Details

Raw Meat Meaty Sessions are advanced roller skating lessons, featuring various roller skating and roller derby drills. You will learn mad skating skills, in a strictly non-contact atmosphere.  This session is from 10 to noon, Saturday, June 11, at the Royal City Curling Club, 75 6th Avenue East, New Westminster.

Please bring a black and a white shirt with you in case we divide into teams. Based on attendance, this lesson will be $10 – $12. Please bring change!

Who Can Come to a Raw Meat Meaty Session:

Raw Meat Meaty Sessions have skill requirements.You can only skate at a Meaty session if you have passed the Raw Meat Basic Skills test, or if you are a current skater or on-skate referee with the TCRG.

If you are new to Raw Meat Roller Skating, please attend our regular roller skating sessions on Saturdays from 5-7 PM at Thunderbird Community Centre, 2311 Cassiar St., and speak to a coach about when you will be ready for the Meaty sessions. If we are not familiar with your skating, you will not be allowed to skate at a Raw Meat Meaty session.

We are running our usual 5-7 sessions Saturdays at Thunderbird all summer, so come on out if you can’t make a morning session. Or, if you feel like getting even more awesome into your day, come on down and make it a Double Meat Saturday.

The Rules:

Everyone at a Raw Meat Meaty session must sign a waiver saying that they accept the risks of roller skating. No waiver, no skating.

All skaters must abide by our strict non-contact rule. We do not allow hitting, pushing or overly aggressive skating. Any skater engaging in contact will be asked to leave immediately. We do allow hip/arm whips, and safe touching of teammates. (If you aren’t comfortable grabbing people, you should probably take up badminton instead!)

All skaters must wear full safety gear (knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, helmets AND mouth guards) while skating. The floor at the Curling Club is very hard, and you must keep your gear on while you are on the skating floor.

We have two simple rules at Raw Meat: 1. Don’t be an Ass-Hat. 2. Be Safe. There is zero tolerance for breaking these rules.

Getting There:

The Royal City Curling Club is on numerous bus routes. If you are driving, there is plenty of free parking. If you can give someone else a ride, please do so! Post in the comments to arrange rides (and those getting a ride, don’t forget to chip in for gas)

See You All Saturday!