Five reasons why roller skates are better than hoverboards

No hoverboards? Don't despair! Roller skates are cooler anyway.
Great Scot! Is it the future already?

We were promised hover boards!

But, while we don’t have them yet, we do have roller skates, and roller skates, frankly, are better. Here’s why:

5. To heck with garbage! When roller skates run out of gas, you get to fuel their engine (you) with cake. Or maybe donuts. Mmmmm….donuts….

4. Can you imagine Gene Kelly on a hover board?

3. You can’t do this on a hover board:

2. Roller skates won’t get you in trouble with future gangs. And, even if they did, you are much more able to take a hit on skates. Can you imagine getting shoulder-checked on a hover board? You’d better have your passport with you.

Last but not least:

1. Roller skates exist!

So, this Saturday, October 24, seize your future, and come learn to roller skate, roller derby-style, at Raw Meat Vancouver Roller Skating.

We meet from 5-7 pm every Saturday at Thunderbird Community Centre at 2311 Cassiar St.–but NO SESSION on Halloween. Let’s face it, you weren’t going to come anyway.

Sessions are $7, and you must have your own gear. You’ll need: roller skates, a helmet, a mouth guard, and wrist, elbow and knee pads. Gear can be rented from Rollergirl, at 11th and Main.

You must have white or light toe stoppers, and put vertical strips of white tape on black knee pads, to avoid marking the floors.

Our sessions are always non-contact, and we just have two rules: 1. Be safe. 2. Don’t be an ass-hat.

See you Saturday!