The Twelve Days of Roller Skating

On the first day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the second day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the third day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.

On the fourth day of skating
My mean coach said to me,
“Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the fifth day of skating
My mean coach said to me,
“It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the sixth day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now
I’m serious
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.

On the seventh day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the eighth day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Be quick and agile
Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the ninth day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Steer with your boobies,
Be quick and agile
Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the tenth day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Knees should stay apart,
Steer with your boobies,
Be quick and agile
Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the eleventh day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Move your feet much faster!
Knees should stay apart
Steer with your boobies,
Be quick and agile
Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
Skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”

On the twelfth day of skating,
My mean coach said to me,
“Get even lower!
Move your feet much faster!
Knees should stay apart!
Steer with your boobies,
Be quick and agile
Feel it in your hamstrings,
Shoot your hips backward
It’s going to burn…
Get lower now!
I’m serious!
Build buns of steel,
skate like you’re squatting down to pee.”